Going back to school can bring a whole host of emotions. It can bring excitement, anticipation, and even a bit of happiness. What it should not bring is fear, frustration and worry that your child may be bullied. Bullying is a major issue is many schools, whether they are public or private. Facing a bully at school can affect your child in many ways and parents can take steps to help their child.
The first thing parents need to understand is what bullying is. Bullying is pervasive and continuous taunting of a individual in either verbal or physical ways. It can range from simple but continuous name calling to hitting or threats. Parents must be aware that if a child hits your child, that it should be reported both to school personnel, and if serious, the police.
Parents also need to know that in some cases the bullying can take place by using chat rooms, text messaging, or by simply spreading rumors within the school. If these things are taking place on a continuous basis, than it is bullying. A onetime occurrence of a rumor or a name is simply kids being kids. However, a daily taunting of a child by others is a serious issue of bullying, which must be addressed.
If your child was bullied last year in school you should take the following steps now:
1. If your school has multiple classrooms for a grade level, ask that your child be put in a different classroom than the bully.
2. Schedule a confidential meeting with the principal and teacher about the bullying.
3. Work with the school to start a bullying support group for kids to talk about concerns.
4. Remember the school has a duty to protect your child. If bullying becomes pervasive, send letters, schedule conferences and ask the school to be actively involved in stopping the situation. Schools can be liable for damages in cases where they have failed to protect students despite repeated requests for help from families.
5. If the bullying includes threats, prank calls, or inappropriate pictures, you may want to consider getting an attorney or educational advocate involved to help. You may also want to consider alerting the police if the school has not already done so.
What parents should not do when their child is being actively bullied in a school setting:
1. Do not contact the bully or his or her family. If the school schedules a meeting with families that is okay, but do not make a call to the bullies family on your own.
2. Do not expect bullying to simply resolve itself.
3. Do not make your child feel responsible for the bullying.
4. Do not tell your child to simply "toughen up."
5. Do not put your child in the middle of conferences or ask that they tell teachers about bullies in front of other students. Set up a confidential method for this situation to be resolved.
For more information on bullying, please visit the following websites for information:
http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html
http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Ensuring Academic Success in 2009
A new year brings a new opportunity to ensure your child’s academic success. Education is one of the most essential elements of your child’s growth towards being a self-sufficient and happy adult. Many parents forget how difficult school can be and try to motivate their child through negative or punitive acts. It is important that you and your child have a positive outlook towards school.
There are many things parents can do to make school a more positive experience while motivating their child to do even better. Creating a reward system is an excellent idea where a child is rewarded for completing homework well, getting good grades, joining school clubs, and working with projects. For kids that are having trouble in school, a reward system is essential – even if they are simply being rewarded for working on homework – rather than for how many they get correct. Work with your child to figure out what will work best and then create a graph with stickers, movie nights, sleep-overs, mall trips, or otherwise.
If your child is not doing well in school ask these questions:
1. How often am I working one on one with my child?
Regardless of the fact that children are in school 6 -7 hours a day, there is nothing that is more helpful than a one on one education. While most of us live busier lives than ever, and many parents feel increasingly frustrated with the school options, yet it has never been more important for parents to spend one on one time with their child. If you cannot spend one on one time daily with your child, reviewing his or her work, assisting on homework, reading, and otherwise, it is often wise to utilize a tutoring service or service offered by the school. The earlier you decide to use this method, the better. It is never wise to allow your child to fall further behind before taking action. It is also important that parents avoid the “its not fair” mentality. Many parents can become frustrated after they have worked one or two jobs to come home and then have to “re-teach” their child or spend hours on homework. I hear from parents all the time who pay high property taxes and then have to pay for a tutor for their child, or parents who are even paying for both private schools and outside tutoring services. It is easy to become frustrated. Yet you cannot allow your child to suffer because the system is not quite as good as it should be and one on one time is always essential.
2. Has my child fallen behind or is there simply gaps in his or her education?
This is a very important question and one that can be revealed by testing. Most schools and many tutoring services can perform this type of testing. For instance a child may be having a tremendous problem with Algebra and when we really get to the heart of the matter, its that they don’t understand fractions or decimals. Another thing that can occur, especially with younger children is where teachers speed ahead leaving the slower readers behind. Experienced teachers will recognize this and work to catch up the slower readers, add supplementary services and frequent word reviews. However, this doesn’t always happen and a first grader who has a few problems can turn into a third grader with substantial issues. I always recommend that parents who have any concerns get their child tested either by a tutoring services or with more significant concerns or issues by the school.
3. Are there other factors at play such as difficulties at home or school, a potential learning disability, or a negative educational environment.
There are many factors that can contribute to lower grades or problems at school. If there are issues at home, consider a family counselor, and work with your child to deal with these matters.
Many children can have mild learning disabilities and fully overcome them by adulthood, going on to become doctors, lawyers, teachers, biologists, or whatever they have set their sights on. The key is finding the issues and addressing them. A child who really dislikes school may be having a very frustrating experience due to bullying or they may have a learning disability that needs to be addressed. It is essential if you suspect your child may have a learning disability to have them tested, create an IEP and actively address the situation to remedy the issues.
There are many things parents can do to make school a more positive experience while motivating their child to do even better. Creating a reward system is an excellent idea where a child is rewarded for completing homework well, getting good grades, joining school clubs, and working with projects. For kids that are having trouble in school, a reward system is essential – even if they are simply being rewarded for working on homework – rather than for how many they get correct. Work with your child to figure out what will work best and then create a graph with stickers, movie nights, sleep-overs, mall trips, or otherwise.
If your child is not doing well in school ask these questions:
1. How often am I working one on one with my child?
Regardless of the fact that children are in school 6 -7 hours a day, there is nothing that is more helpful than a one on one education. While most of us live busier lives than ever, and many parents feel increasingly frustrated with the school options, yet it has never been more important for parents to spend one on one time with their child. If you cannot spend one on one time daily with your child, reviewing his or her work, assisting on homework, reading, and otherwise, it is often wise to utilize a tutoring service or service offered by the school. The earlier you decide to use this method, the better. It is never wise to allow your child to fall further behind before taking action. It is also important that parents avoid the “its not fair” mentality. Many parents can become frustrated after they have worked one or two jobs to come home and then have to “re-teach” their child or spend hours on homework. I hear from parents all the time who pay high property taxes and then have to pay for a tutor for their child, or parents who are even paying for both private schools and outside tutoring services. It is easy to become frustrated. Yet you cannot allow your child to suffer because the system is not quite as good as it should be and one on one time is always essential.
2. Has my child fallen behind or is there simply gaps in his or her education?
This is a very important question and one that can be revealed by testing. Most schools and many tutoring services can perform this type of testing. For instance a child may be having a tremendous problem with Algebra and when we really get to the heart of the matter, its that they don’t understand fractions or decimals. Another thing that can occur, especially with younger children is where teachers speed ahead leaving the slower readers behind. Experienced teachers will recognize this and work to catch up the slower readers, add supplementary services and frequent word reviews. However, this doesn’t always happen and a first grader who has a few problems can turn into a third grader with substantial issues. I always recommend that parents who have any concerns get their child tested either by a tutoring services or with more significant concerns or issues by the school.
3. Are there other factors at play such as difficulties at home or school, a potential learning disability, or a negative educational environment.
There are many factors that can contribute to lower grades or problems at school. If there are issues at home, consider a family counselor, and work with your child to deal with these matters.
Many children can have mild learning disabilities and fully overcome them by adulthood, going on to become doctors, lawyers, teachers, biologists, or whatever they have set their sights on. The key is finding the issues and addressing them. A child who really dislikes school may be having a very frustrating experience due to bullying or they may have a learning disability that needs to be addressed. It is essential if you suspect your child may have a learning disability to have them tested, create an IEP and actively address the situation to remedy the issues.
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